Have I told you about university’s absolutely unamazing recording studio? Jessup likes to think that it can compete with the likes of Biola University, but the shoestring budget I’ve allocated has purchased very little. Oh, don’t get me wrong. We have a Mac Studio with a large monitor and some speakers as eye candy, but the other low-grade equipment I’ve furnished the studio with “almost” makes me wince as unsuspecting students try to get their projects done.
Last year someone stole some expensive microphones from the studio, but the ugly truth was that they were the property of a student because I’m such a cheapskate and didn’t feel that Jessup needed to buy its own. Can you blame me? Why purchase microphones if someone else is willing to provide them for free?
Our studio is just a regular room with some inexpensive equipment tossed in that doesn’t work half the time. Want to hear the delicious irony? I tell the frustrated students that troubleshooting equipment is simply part of the learning experience. The best part is that the majority of them go along with that bulls*** logic.
When students complain, I placate them with the news that have we have just made some purchases and there will be upgrades in the near future. Most of the students don’t hold me accountable, so this lie is used repeatedly, and the dolts never get wiser. The truth is the Jessup Studio doesn’t work half the time.
I’m not going to show you the studio. You’ll have to content yourself with gazing upon the poor woman I suckered into giving money for this failed project.