I love to make my merry way around campus with my personal assistant in tow. Lauren Horst is a close confidant of all my activities.
Most people assume we are a couple from the way she follows me like a puppy dog.
It doesn’t help that every off-campus event requiring an overnight stay finds her by my side. So, yes, I can see how people could imagine we are having an affair. However, while I am a terrible human being, I can assure you these are baseless rumors.
Lauren is very territorial like me and some students discover how much of a b**** she can be.
She even embraced the whole face diaper thing during the pandemic.
